Pac-12 Power Rankings: Christmas Shopping Edition

1. Stanford

Scott Allen, Rule of Tree: A puppy; they're full of energy and they experienced some growing pains, but it's so much fun to watch them play.

2. Oregon

Random Texas fan who wants Chip Kelly: "Watching Oregon is like seeing a beautiful painting or being moved to tears by the most beautiful song in the world."

3. UCLA

Ryan Rosenblatt, Bruins Nation: Furby because it's super exciting and super exciting (I think that's how Furbys work. My cousin loved hers.), but they also go to sleep occasionally.

4. Oregon State

Jonathan Irwin, Northwest Sports Beat: A new scooter (for you late-90s/early-2000s kids you know what I'm talking about). It starts out looking all fancy and new, garnering plenty of attention. But the more you play with it, the more mundane it starts to seem.

Sorry to be a Scrooge, but I guess the nonobjective side of me is still reeling from all the "could-have-beens" of this season. The Beavers blew out of the gates and looked like they had the potential to dominate. But the more games they played, the more and more they started to recede into averageness.

5. Arizona State

Anonymous ASU writer: If I were to match ASU as a Christmas present, it would be an ankle bracelet because I'd like to know where Todd Graham is at all times. I kid, I kid.

6. Arizona

Alec Sills-Trausch, Zona Zealots: The shiny coin your grandma gave you because it looks nice, could be cool, but in the end just ends up with all the mediocre gifts.

Adam Butler, Pacific Takes & PacHoops: I'd call the Wildcats a gift card. It's nice to have but isn't the most thoughtful gift. You're happy to have it but there's still the chance you just forget about it and never use it. You could, however, buy something really cool and use it for many, many years and wind up remembering that gift card as the gateway to something great (see: Rodriguez, Rich).

7. USC

Trevor Wong, Conquest Chronicles - Coal. Imagine you're a little kid awaiting that shiny new toy on Christmas day, all the anxiousness and excitement eating away at your insides. You keep unwrapping gift after gift, but there's still no sign of that toy. Finally, all the presents are unwrapped, reality sinks in and you realize that you're not getting what you wanted. That, in a sense, sums up USC's season. Before the year began, there was so much anxiety and excitement about the prospects of this team. The team returned nine of 11 offensive starters, the headliner being Matt Barkley returning for unfinished business. That one gift - the one everyone wanted - was a national championship. There were some hiccups along the way, but there was still hope they'd turn it around eventually. Yet when the losses started piling up, reality sank in and the season didn't turn out as many had expected. There was no hope of a national title, but instead, the unfortunate truth that this team basically didn't deliver the entire year.

8. Washington

Jack Follman, Pacific Takes: The calendar that your aunt or uncle that you rarely see sends you in the mail. It isn't exactly bad, but it isn't good either and never really improves.

Gekko Mojo, UW Dawg Pound: A Christmas Fruit Cake ... because you know it isn't very good, but you still can't help yourself from thinking that this year, it may be different.

9. Utah

Sean Reynolds, Block U: A broken electronic ... because it looks cool, you know if it worked it might be cool, but, unfortunately, you can't get it to.

10. Cal

Norcalnick, California Golden Blogs: A government bond because it's a gift that won't provide any entertainment until some undetermined future point. Also, it's a gift that reminds you that the institution may have some debt issues to deal with.

11. Washington State

A guess: Apples of whole sources, nutritious, many different types, builds up fortitude for the upcoming seasons.

12. Colorado

Another guess: Fire. To burn everything down.