"Can you still speak English after that one?" "Who is English?" (Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images)
Creature of the night Vontaze Burfict is a grand sufferer of the malaise known as imbecility, and it's apparently contagious. To the delight of the spectators who didn't care about either team tonight, by the end it managed to infest everyone else on the field.
Missouri's quarterback James Franklin threw fade routes to no one, then made up his own half-slant, half-fade to the the game. Arizona State committed penalties, penalties, but for once they were killing real offense instead of setting up their usual 4th and 25s. Missouri was happy to commit penalties along with them. Brock Osweiler looked like a real quarterback despite being 6'8", because he's 6'8", and people who are 6'8" just can't do those things, am I right guyz? The teams combined for over a thousand yards despite the fact that ASU is stuck in an eternal loop of two yard rushes. And Aaron Pflugrad put up almost as many receiving yards and more touchdowns than he did in two years in Oregon.
And of course, the Pinkel thing, which I'm pretty sure he'll be spending significant amount of hours in therapy. But should we really be judging him so harshly. The last three hours were In fact, it's hard to blame him for that last mishap. Pinkel looked like he was suffering Stockholm Syndrome--everyone was acting so dumb, he took pity on everyone and decided to be the dumbest of all.
What a nice guy.
Nothing about that game made any sense. It was one of the stupidest things I've ever watched. I love college football.